friday letters

michal, thank you for helping me cross the first task off my summer bucket list. our dweeby salad date/picnic/rolling around on a towel in the park/spontaneous crop top shopping trip turned out to be the perfect thing to really make me feel like summer had begun. 

abc, yeah, american broadcasting company, i'm talking to you. i hear word that you air the middle on your fine network, and trust me, i'm really pleased about this. i love you, really, just, we need to talk. i finished watching all of the aired episodes two days ago, and i already miss the heck family. i told my mom i "miss my friends", meaning the hecks, and i need them back asap. i've even started picking up axl's mannerisms the way i do with real people. 

emily, hey hey hey girl. you're probably going to be in every edition of friday letters. you've taken me on quite some adventures the past two weekends, and hopefully next weekend, i can finally take you on one. i look forward to it. 

my girl scout troop, honestly, adios bitches. glad last night was the last meeting, and i hope none of you see it coming when my schedule is suddenly "overwhelming" in the fall and "a lot more work than i expected" and then i "just can't commit my time to the troop anymore." y'all are just a thorn in my side and i am pleased to be washing my hands of you. 

twitter followers, i hope you enjoyed my psychotic rant about vomit last night. i know that i'm a classy lady, and i also know that i vomit a lot. 

kids i babysit, stop criticizing my fashion choices. my shirt is supposed to show that strip of my stomach, my shorts are supposed to be that short, and my other pair of shorts are supposed to be multicolored and ripped. i think i look good, so just stop it. you're all under the age of ten and you know nothing about fashion so shut your mouths.

baby bunny, every time i see you i cry a little. i'm pretty sure we're cosmically linked, or you're my spirit animal, or something. my mom told me i can't capture you and keep you as a pet, but god, "boy" and i really want to do that. i'm sure your raspberry bush is a really nice home, but i could show you a whole world of niceness. my mom and i kind of named you brick, so i kind of hope you're really a boy bunny like i've just been assuming you are since i haven't gotten close enough to check out your itty bitty private regions. 

um okay bye,
kristina